12

My baby is 12. 12! I can't believe it!

Everyone teases me because I have no memory. But I can remember every detail about the birth of my firstborn. I remember exactly what I was doing when my contractions started. I remember Dan calling the doctor and telling her what was going on and seeing when we should head to the hospital (My OB dr. was a family friend, and we lived an hour away from the hospital). I remember telling him I was NOT leaving until I had a shower (I had been cleaning up a storm all day, and was hot & sweaty). We arrived at the hospital around 10 p.m., got settled in, major pains didn't start until around 3 or 4 in the morning and she was born at 5:45 a.m. I remember (very vividly remember) not hearing a sound when they took her and layed her on the table. I (again very vividly) remember looking my dr. in the eye and threatening her if she didn't tell me EXACTLY what the nurses were doing with my baby and why she wasn't crying. She started crying a couple minutes later, but it was just long enough that her Apgar scores were low enough to warrant her being on a heart monitor & oxygen for a couple hours. By then we had called my mom & dad, and his mom and they had arrived. The 3 of them and Dan took off into the nursery to see Amanda (I STILL had not seen her, and was getting a little cranky). They brought her in shortly after, all cleaned up and fresh-smelling, and I didn't let her go again. I held her & loved on her until around 11:00 that night. They finally convinced me to let them take her to the nursery so I could get a couple hours sleep (I hadn't slept more than 4 hours in 36 hours, and I was pooped, but still didn't want them to take her. I think I slept about 5 hours, then called the nurses and had them bring her back in).

I was protective of her then, and still am today. It's hard for me to let her grow up. Hard for me to let her spread her wings & fly. I wish I could keep her my little girl...but my baby is growing up.

Happy Birthday, Amanda! I love you!