This school year has been especially rough for one of my daughters.
A new school, a rough age, new experiences....all together spell disaster for my girl.
It's so hard to watch them struggle. To know that this is a life lesson, and something they need to learn to work through & be able to handle, while watching them fail before (hopefully) finally getting it.
I'm struggling right along with her. Trying to decide how I should act (or react), how much I should get involved & how much she should deal with herself. My gut is to step in immediately and try to solve it for her. But I know that's not always the thing to do.
She's had some bad experiences with some of her "friends". I use the term "friends" very loosely, as they are NOT someone I would consider a friend. They used to be, but for whatever reason, have turned against her this year. I realize friends come & go, and I've tried relaying to her that a true friend does not treat you like this (there's been some serious name calling (horrible, horrible names!), a few minor threats...this has all been turned over to the school administration). I realize I cannot pick her friends for her (though, as a parent, I have told her there will be no contact with these girls. I cannot pick her friends for her, but I can minimize her involvement with the wrong crowd).
Her grades are suffering as a result of all this. She's always had trouble staying organized & focused. She struggles BIG TIME in math, especially. She just doesn't get even the most basic of concepts. (we've had her tested, but tests above the standard for receiving help). It requires hours & hours of working with her each week just to get her to pass.
It's frustrating to have to baby her. To have to check with her teachers every day to see if she turned in her homework and what, if any, is due tomorrow. To have to check her binder every day to make sure she has what she needs, and to send her back to school after a book or paper pretty much every day. Pull your hair out, frustrating!
And I started the year off saying I wasn't doing it this year. She's old enough to do it on her own. To suffer the consequences of her actions.
But I couldn't do it. I couldn't watch her fail, and know I didn't at least try to help. It's frustrating to babysit her all the time. But apparently it's what she still needs. Because just because she's physically X years old, doesn't mean she's emotionally there yet. And that's what I've come to learn. That she really does need me to baby her still. And, as a parent, I have to do what's best for her, no matter how irritating it is to me.
If my "baby" needs me, then I'm gonna be there for her.
Just please, someone be there for me to help me keep my sanity and catch me when I fall. Which I will inevitably do.
Lord, give me strength.